Opening Gags - Series 36 Episode 1

Audience cheering

RhShut up!! I think they're taking the mickey, I really do! Thank you very much, indeed, folks, and welcome to the show. Yes, the show that does for the news what did for ! Yes, we're back with a new series, folks, and this makes us the longest running comedy show on Radio 2. Well, we've lasted longer than any of Michael Aspel's wives, haven't we, for a start! Some of them are sitting over on this side, Ladies and Gentlemen, I want you to know! No wonder they didn't laugh!

So, what's been happening while we've been away? Well, Britain was covered in snow for a while, Sainsburys sacked 650, Thorpe opened up a nuclear processing plant, and Gillian Taylorforth was caught doing naughties in a car! So it's been snow jobs, no jobs, glow jobs and truly unbeliveable

Oh, and we found out how the Child Support Agency managed to spend £5,000 on a staff party. Every time someone went for a drink, they trebled the order! 🇦🇴

And Princess Diana has quit public life. Yes, she's become a presenter on Don't Forget Your Toothbrush!

Oh, and did you read that Coronation Street's Ken Barlow is now on his 24th lover. He doesn't seduce em, you know – he bores the pants off em! Very good over here. Aspel's family, not so good over there, right.

And I see while we've been away, Frank Bruno fought yet another opponent that was on his back in 2 minutes. Next week he meets Lady Buck!